The Big Doll House (1971)

When you think of super sleazy exploitation films, one genre that tops the rest in sheer amount of sleaze is women in prison movies. And The Big Doll House is a women in prison flick that definitely doesn't skimp on the sleaze. The Big Doll House is basically what you think of when you think of a sleazy women in prison movie.

The plot is rather thin and takes a backseat to all the sleaze. It's really nothing you haven't seen before, a woman is new to a prison, she makes friends and enemies, the warden is a psychotic bitch who tortures her inmates, lesbianism, nudity, showers, sleaze. But what really made this movie a joy to watch was its straight, non-ironic presentation of these W.I.P. cliches. The movie makes absolutely no pretense of being anything more than just grindhouse fair for all those perverts in the 1970s. And it is all the better for it.

Now, I'm not going to lie, this movie, like a lot of 70s exploitation films, was really, really bad. It features all the problems these kinds of movies had, such as over-the-top "badass chick" dialogue and acting, cheesy music, poor lighting, and lame comic relief. The sleaze is what really sells this movie, as it contains all the W.I.P. classics such as a gratuitous shower scene (sadly only one in this movie), lesbian overtones, and torture scenes.

However, the movie does have a few saving graces, such as being the first big role for who is without a doubt the hottest actress of the seventies, Pam Grier. It's basically impossible for anybody to watch a Pam Grier movie from this era and not develop a crush on her. And in this movie, like in many other of her movies, she shows off the goods. However, it's not entirely her smoking hot body that makes her so attractive, as her tough-as-nails performance plays a large part in how amazing she is. In this movie she's tough and dominant, but also has a gentle side. The movie also showcases another Pam Grier talent by making her sing the opening song. Unfortunately, Pam Grier's performance is really the only performance that stands out in this movie.

Overall, if you're looking for a sleazy, so-bad-it's-good, W.I.P. film, then The Big Doll House is a definite must-watch.\

Blood-O-Meter: 3/10

Boob-O-Meter: 6/10

Overall Quality: 43/100

BloodRayne (2005)

BloodRayne is the first movie I've seen from the infamously bad director Uwe Boll, and I must confess, it was nowhere near the worst movie I've ever seen. It was bad, sure, but I've just seen so many bad movies that I was a little disappointed by how not that bad this movie was. Maybe Uwe Boll has been more incompetent in other movies, but I would never peg him as a terrible director if this was the only movie I've seen from him. And before I start this review I should point out that I have never played the video game this was based off, nor do I know a single thing about it.

Rayne is a half-human, half-vampire who sets out to get revenge on her evil father for raping and then later killing her mother. She must find a magical eye to kill him, and on her quest she meets a group of vampire hunters who are after the same man. While this might seem like an interesting premise, it's completely ruined by the fact that Rayne is completely devoid of any personality. The movie doesn't even explore any kind of ethics, morals or psychology behind her revenge, she just sort of finds out about this evil man and sets out to kill him. The writer of this movie must have thought he was writing a strong, powerful woman just because she's a good fighter, but that really isn't enough to sustain a character.

The three vampire hunters, members of a society who fights vampires, are just as poorly written, as they don't even have distinct personalities, you could switch their lines around and it wouldn't even matter. Usually in these kinds of movies, it's the villains who are the most memorable characters, but not in this movie. I just watched this movie today and I barely remember anything about him. The only really memorable character is Meat Loaf's cameo as Leonid, mostly because his scene is also full of naked women. It also didn't help that the acting was uniformly flat and emotionless.

This movie is also guilty of having the most pointless and inconsequential romance I have ever seen in any action movie ever. Rayne and one of the vampire fighters (I don't even remember which one it was) were supposed to be in love, I guess, and that is shown through one weird, out of place sex scene which is supposed to make another scene near the end touching, which it failed at.

But like I said before, the movie wasn't all bad. The medieval sets and costumes looked good, with actual effort going into the art direction. In fact, all the money must have went to the period clothes and sets because the gore effects were super cheesy, looking like something out of a no-budget direct to video stinker rather than a movie released to theaters. Still, it's always charming to see practical effects used for gore as opposed the shitty-looking CGI blood. Also, the movie featured some decent looking make-up for the vampires.

Another thing this movie was good at was its well-choreographed fight scenes. The cinematography and editing on these scenes could have been been better, but I've seen much more poorly shot action scenes. Also, like I said before, the gore was cheesy, so it kind of ruined the badassness of the fight scenes.

Overall, the movie was pretty bad, I just didn't find it quite as terrible as others seemed to find it. It was a cheesy, silly B-movie which should entertain fans of bad movies, although if you're just looking for a hot girl in a sexy outfit kicking ass, then you should get some non-ironic enjoyment out of this.

Blood-O-Meter: 6/10

Boob-O-Meter: 8/10

Overall Quality: 46/100